Title: The Ordinary (A Red Plane Crashes)
Rating: NC-17 - R
Main: Ohkura Tadayoshi/Yasuda Shota
Summary: “Oh well, those things take time. Everything in the world takes time, everyone needs it. Our bodies could evolve to a point we no longer need air or water, perhaps even food. But we’ll always need time.”
Disclaimer: I don't own Johnnys Entertainment. Sucks, I know.
Notes: I am, simply—in love with this. I don’t expect everyone to love it but I ought to profess how much I liked writing this. I miss OhYass. And I seriously had a hard time looking for what to quote. I just can’t find one line I really like. I like all of them :( *sob* Comments are fantastic! I’d love to hear what you think. This is a bit experimental for me so I hope you guys enjoy it still. ^^;
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
One night, Ohkura had the wildest—most pumped up sex dream he’s ever had, complete with porn music, twin lesbians and bisexual orgies all having sex under a giant 70’s-esque disco ball that looked to him like an alien mother ship. He woke up with a sprung up erection and sticky sweat coating every inch of his skin. It was no fantasy at all, more like a nightmare.
(A sex nightmare? That’s a first.) Ohkura thought.
He was in a reserved hotel room that was 20 stories up high. The humidifier was on in full power, he had left it that way before going to bed after a tiring tour concert in Nagoya. He shared a room with Yasuda, a band mate who played the guitar. Yasuda was a whole lot shorter than he was, with bleached blonde hair that suited his tanned skin.
Sometimes Ohkura thought Yasuda would’ve perfectly fit the role of a surfer in a drama.
Ohkura was a drummer for a rising Kansai-based eight member group under Johnny’s Entertainment. They had an unconventional arrangement and array of people which was aided by an unconventional image of comedians. Ohkura had no problems with said arrangement, he had grown and went to puberty with these men and had fully enjoyed their company for most of the time.
A magazine article once attempted to summarize the particular images the members had.
All members agreed that this ought to have been stapled everywhere in Japan, from electric posts, bullet trains and portable toilets. Simply because this was the easiest way to remember each of the eight, each bulleted description had their pictures beside them.
Girls all over Japan would swoon all over Nishikido’s face as they rode the train to school.
(Ah! I wish Ryo-chan were my boyfriend! I don’t care even if his personality stinks!) One of the schoolgirls would say. Not to say that Nishikido had a terrible personality, but if he did— it wouldn’t have made much of a difference.
Ohkura was still hard. He looked at the tent his pajamas and erection made.
He tried not to remember it. What could’ve caused this Marquis De Sade like sexual montage? He never liked twins, lesbians, bisexuals or orgies. He thought of himself as the most ordinary person when it came to sex, he had no imagination, no peculiar kinks and no particular passion for sex. He liked sex but he was hardly crazy about it. To him, sex was just taking off each other’s clothes and after trying to think of making the other one feel good— you give up because your sex partner’s expectations are way too high. Ohkura hated foreplay, what good did it ever manage to bring? He wondered. All he thought about was putting his penis inside whomever it was he was having sex with and coming. Coming on her stomach, on her face—he wasn’t picky.
(Women take too much time to get heated up, and when they’re all excited, they expect too much. ) He thought. (I can’t imagine the trouble so many people go through just to have sex!)
Ohkura also thought about how normal looking he was as well. Nothing about his face struck him as special, he was pretty ordinary. He thought his face was as ordinary as his libido. He was tall and well built, and he was pretty big down there. The first girl he ever had sex with was practically terrified of his ‘way too large’ penis.
(Omigod Tada-kun! You can’t expect that’ll fit inside me, can you?! ) She exasperatingly asked him while giving him a rigorous hand job.
(I don’t care, it’s all right as long as I come.) He told her.
(Oooh, I was just kidding! You know it’ll fit, we’ll make it fit.) She said.
(Geez, all that talk for nothing.) He growled.
But all in all, Ohkura thought he was ordinary. That was the proper bottom line. Now, his ordinariness had been threatened by a sex nightmare and this made him disappointed because he felt that as an ordinary person, he had the right to live and die ordinary.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Yasuda had been practicing a song by B’Z on the guitar. He played the guitar while sitting in his hotel bed, just strumming aimlessly. His fingers stopped moving as Ohkura woke up and sat up from the other bed, sweating as though he’d just been drawn out from a hellish nightmare.
In the time duration of a full minute, the two just sat on their beds—staring at each other.
“Oh, what’s wrong Tadayoshi? Did I wake you up?” Yasuda asked as a point of common courtesy.
Ohkura shook his head.”Ah, no—I was just having a wet dream.” He said plainly. Wet dreams, morning erections and sensitive nipples—somehow their group had such a tight knit bond no one cared if someone talked about them so openly. They were like brothers, and it was hard to keep something from each other.
“Strange. At that age, you still have wet dreams?” Yasuda’s head tilted to the left, looking at Ohkura as though he had grown two more heads.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Ohkura blinked.
“I’m not sure. But I stopped having them when I turned 17.”
“What happened?”
“Oh I don’t know! Maybe it has something to do with being gay, how should I know?” Yasuda jested.
Of course Yasuda was openly gay, well not openly gay for the rest of Japan but within their eight person society, everyone had accepted Yasuda’s preference for other men. It never got in the way of their friendship.
One day Yasuda merely said: (Everyone, I may be gay. I know this seems like bad news but I hope you understand. I still want us all to be friends.)
And as though a curse had been lifted—their group was in better ease.
(Ah, so he was gay after all. Now I don’t feel like it’s just my imagination!) Shingo said. He felt as light as a feather.
In fact, it was easier for everyone to open up to Yasuda. Yoko asked Yasuda about what good sensitivity could bring into a relationship, and Ryo would ask when the right time would be to break up with a girl he thought was too clingy or selfish.
“So you think it’s because you’re gay?” Ohkura asked.
“I told you already...I wouldn’t know. Our body is full of mysteries. Let’s talk about that wet dream instead, why don’t we?”
“Honestly, I don’t think I should call it a wet dream—more like a sex nightmare.”
Sex Nightmare—the name would’ve perfectly fit a Visual Kei band. Here comes Sex Nightmare, in gothic makeup and a huge plastic dildo with an inverted cross. The things Ohkura’s mind came up with, such a surreal sense of humour he had for someone so ordinary.
“Sex nightmare? That’s a first.” Yasuda said, almost impressed.
“That’s what I thought too. I’m pretty confused. It’s not that I don’t like sex, I think it’s nice to hold a girl every once in a while. But I’m not too crazy about it.”
Yasuda put his guitar down, placed it under the bed and crossed his tanned arms across his chest. He looked awfully thoughtful, he radiated with a sort of sound maturity. “Have you had sex with anyone lately?”
“No. Not for a whole three months.”
“Must be frustration.” Yasuda nodded once, as if he were agreeing with his own theory. “Do you want to have sex?”
Ohkura shook his head. “My mind doesn’t want it, but probably my body says otherwise. Maybe I’ve got too much unreleased semen or something.”
“Do you want to have sex with someone, anyone?”
“No. Not anyone I can think of right now.”
“I see, I see.” Yasuda nodded some more. “My deduction would be that this frustration of yours has no particular direction towards one person.”
“You mean a pointless frustration?”
“I’d mean more along the lines of ‘primal’. Mankind’s been unable to evolve past primal desires.”
“You mean my body is screaming ‘mating time!’?”
“I think that’s the case.”
Ohkura thought of the words: ‘primal’ and ‘evolution’. Life was as scientific as it was mystical, he supposed. Why else would he have a sex nightmare? “Pointless and primal, they’re the same to me.” Ohkura stretched his arms up towards the ceiling. “You should be a psychologist or something Yasu, you seem to understand a lot about human nature.”
“No way. I just read into things more so than normal people do. If you want to talk about pointless, all you need to do is take a long good look at me.”
“Why’d you think that? You’re not so bad.” Ohkura sympathised with Yasuda. So what if Yasuda preferred other men? Ohkura thought that Yasuda was a very nice person, and if he ever had a lover— the guy had to be someone who’d truly appreciate that soul Yasuda had inside him. Nothing was pointless about that.
Yasuda sighed. “No one knows I’m gay. Just the seven of you know about me. I’ve got zero dating scope.”
“You’ll find one, eventually.” Ohkura tried to comfort Yasuda. “Who knows right? Someone’s bound to be interested in you.”
Yasuda laughed. “Oh, that’s just plain stupid.”
“Why not?!” Ohkura sounded rather frustrated. “You’re really smart, cute and you’ve got a great personality. What’s good about boobs and a vagina if you’ve got one stink personality?”
Yasuda looked as though he were in the brink of tears. “Awww stop, you’re gonna make me cry!” He smiled though, red faced and flattered.
“Ah, Geez—sorry.” He apologized.
Yasuda simply shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s hard when you’re gay. People have a hard time taking you seriously.”
“But I’m dead serious.”
“I know that. It’s just that I can’t cope well with compliments.”
Ohkura fell silent. It felt as if he hardly knew Yasuda, it felt like he hardly knew him at all. The emotional and psychological condition of mankind may have not evolved past the primal but it sure was still as complicated as it could be.
“I guess I ought to wank off my ‘primal urges’.” He jumped off the bed and was still hard, erection rearing its ugly head beneath cotton pajamas. He scratched the back of his head, fingers tangled with thick black hair.
Yasuda bowed once and Ohkura continued with his journey to the bathroom. Ohkura could feel the other man’s eyes on his back. He must’ve looked like an immature, sexually awkward young man compared Yasuda who dealt with life and sex with such graceful sensibility. Maybe one day, he’d be able to match up to that. Yasuda was only born a year before him, a lot of things could happen inside a year.
(Growth can take place in the time span of a millisecond or a millennium. ) He said inwardly.
“Tadayoshi—”
Yasuda called out to him. At first Ohkura assumed that this was a figment of his imagination.
“Tadayoshi!”
“H-Huh?” It was no figment of his imagination all right. The sound waves that bounced around the hotel room were real.
Yasuda spoke to him as though he had fallen into a trance encompassing the four cornered universe of their hotel room. “If you think you need help, I’ll help.”
“What?” What? Ohkura wonders if the sound waves were warped.
“Oh don’t mind me. I’m sorry.” Yasuda lowered his head. “I must be just some sad, confused homosexual man to you.”
Ohkura stared at Yasuda. Everyone may not be homosexual, but he was pretty sure everyone had times when they were sad or confused. And he, he was just as sad and confused as the rest of humanity.
“I don’t think that’d be a bad idea.” Ohkura said.
The balance scales fell into a low incline with one big swoop.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
“Is there a word for this?” Ohkura’s life jumped from a sex nightmare to an impromptu hand job courtesy of a good friend. He slipped under the soft covers of Yasuda’s bed, pulling down his pajamas. They quietly lay there for a while, a proverbial sense of peace washed over them for some mysterious reason.
“A word for what?”
“A word for mutual benefit, I can’t think of one.” Ohkura felt Yasuda’s hand gently cupping his balls and softly massaging them.
“Communal?” Yasuda blinked.
“I don’t like the sound of that.” Ohkura’s brows furrowed.
Yasuda laughed a hearty sort of laugh that made a pleasant sound.
“Hey, you’re pretty good at this.” He praised Yasuda out of the blue.
“You think? Great. That makes me happy.” Yasuda stroked Ohkura’s big penis then after, continuing the hand job with a smooth and steady rhythm. “It’s different when someone else does it for you, huh?”
“Hell yeah.” Ohkura replied, his tone revealed how much he was enjoying this.
“If you want to come, just come. You can come on Kleenex tissues when we’re done.”
Yasuda went on stroking Ohkura, and Ohkura went on enjoying it. One of Ohkura’s hand snaked up to play with one of Yasuda’s earlobes in between his rough fingers. Yasuda shot him a disapproving glare. He silently drew back his hand and let it sit still on his stomach.
“I’m sorry, don’t think I’m trying to take advantage of you.” He told Yasuda.
Once again a thick slab of concrete silence settled between them.
“Actually, it’s the other way around for me. I don’t want you think I’m taking advantage of you. I don’t want you to make me feel good. It’ll simply breed an unnecessary pleasure exchange. “Yasuda explained.
Ohkura’s brows shot up almost close to his hairline. “You just want me to dump all my semen on a Kleenex?”
Yasuda nuzzled his face on the crook of Ohkura’s neck and sighed, his hot breath washed all over the curve. “Don’t feel bad! I’m doing us a favor, you know?”
Ohkura restrained to make a comment, and merely shrugged. “I suppose so.”
“I’ll make you feel good so you can come faster too.”
“Have you ever done this with anyone else before?”
Yasuda rested his head on one propped up arm. “Yep. Only once.”
“Is it someone I know?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
Ohkura dropped the subject. This was nice though, this was the kind of ‘sex’ he wanted. He just wanted to come a lot like normal males do. There was sufficient talk, he felt like he could talk his heart out with Yasuda and dump his semen on mounds of Kleenex both at the same time. The feeling was ‘nice’.
He thought : (Ah, this is the kind of sex I want, communal…whatever that’s supposed to mean.) A strange feeling of connection is what he felt. All those times he had sex before this…he had no kind of deep emotional attachment whatsoever. Most of the time he just wanted to get through with it and doze off.
Ohkura wondered if he was gay.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Did he love Yasuda?
Maybe. Maybe not.
All those complexities resided in a completely different place at that time, sucked in by an invisible black hole. Sometimes Ohkura wished that invisible black hole would just suck in all the complexities of the world and leave human beings as content, perfect and empty little shells of flesh.
“Anyone ever tell you how big you are?” Yasuda asked him casually a tiny hint of surprise in his voice.
“Every girl I have sex with tells me that.”
“I can’t blame them. You’re huge, supernatural huge.” Yasuda made sure he made a fine deep emphasize on the word ‘huge’. “I mean, no way you’d fit in me just like that.”
“They told me that too. Think I’d ever make the Guinness?”
“Probably not. But hey, you’ve got a big pee-pee. If you get married, and your wife gets pregnant with a baby boy…he’d have a big pee-pee just like yours.”
“Sounds fantastic.”
Yasuda laughed again.
A few moments later, Ohkura came and all his semen went into a Kleenex. He then took a warm shower and went back to his own bed.
“Are you going to stay up?” Ohkura asked Yasuda as he toweled his hair.
“No, I’m just going to wash my hands. You came a lot and got some on my hands. You’re such a healthy male!” Yasuda applauded him.
“I eat a lot. Thou must eat a lot, in order to come a lot.”
For the third time, Yasuda laughs. “Why you can’t take your surreal sense of humor out there on stage? You’re really funny.”
“I can’t be myself on stage. Not now.”
Yasuda no longer asked why. “Oh well, those things take time. Everything in the world takes time, everyone needs it. Our bodies could evolve to a point we no longer need air or water, perhaps even food. But we’ll always need time.”
Ohkura was overcome by an innate sorrow, an indescribably strong sorrow that grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him to the bone. There was no good reason to feel sad, so all he could do was ignore that feeling and move on.
“Thanks for wanking off my sex nightmare.” He said.
“No problem. If you ever get one again, tell me. I’ll make you dump all your semen in Kleenex.”
Yasuda was such a likable person.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Ohkura fell into a deep sleep, no longer dreaming about twin lesbians or orgies. Instead, he dreamt of a red jumbo jet plane that zipped through the sky.
He was standing alone, on top of a hill and watching the plane fly. The wind was cool and crisp, blowing against him.
But suddenly, the jumbo jet plane stopped in the middle of the sky and stayed there for a very long time.
(What’s wrong with that plane?) He asked himself.
It was as if Ohkura was the only one moving through time and everything had succumbed into a suspension of time. He would move his mouth to say something but even the sound waves were stuck in this bizarre distortion of time.
He just stood there, waiting for time to propel forward.
It took forever.
Then the wind blew again and Ohkura could speak. One of the wings that the red jumbo jet plane had exploded into flames, the plane crashed, and all Ohkura could do was watch from a far distance.
On a nearby hill, a magnificent gigantic bonfire was born.
(That plane has taken a part of me with it and I’ll probably never get it back.)
Rating: NC-17 - R
Main: Ohkura Tadayoshi/Yasuda Shota
Summary: “Oh well, those things take time. Everything in the world takes time, everyone needs it. Our bodies could evolve to a point we no longer need air or water, perhaps even food. But we’ll always need time.”
Disclaimer: I don't own Johnnys Entertainment. Sucks, I know.
Notes: I am, simply—in love with this. I don’t expect everyone to love it but I ought to profess how much I liked writing this. I miss OhYass. And I seriously had a hard time looking for what to quote. I just can’t find one line I really like. I like all of them :( *sob* Comments are fantastic! I’d love to hear what you think. This is a bit experimental for me so I hope you guys enjoy it still. ^^;
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One night, Ohkura had the wildest—most pumped up sex dream he’s ever had, complete with porn music, twin lesbians and bisexual orgies all having sex under a giant 70’s-esque disco ball that looked to him like an alien mother ship. He woke up with a sprung up erection and sticky sweat coating every inch of his skin. It was no fantasy at all, more like a nightmare.
(A sex nightmare? That’s a first.) Ohkura thought.
He was in a reserved hotel room that was 20 stories up high. The humidifier was on in full power, he had left it that way before going to bed after a tiring tour concert in Nagoya. He shared a room with Yasuda, a band mate who played the guitar. Yasuda was a whole lot shorter than he was, with bleached blonde hair that suited his tanned skin.
Sometimes Ohkura thought Yasuda would’ve perfectly fit the role of a surfer in a drama.
Ohkura was a drummer for a rising Kansai-based eight member group under Johnny’s Entertainment. They had an unconventional arrangement and array of people which was aided by an unconventional image of comedians. Ohkura had no problems with said arrangement, he had grown and went to puberty with these men and had fully enjoyed their company for most of the time.
A magazine article once attempted to summarize the particular images the members had.
1. Subaru Shibutani : More known as the lead singer, very charismatic and opinionated.
2. Shingo Murakami: Considered the tsuukomi (the smart one) in a manzai act (comedy duo).
3. Yuu Yokoyama: Eldest, hardly ages. Gifted comedian.
4. Ryo Nishikido: Always a candidate as lead male in a seasonal drama, very handsome. Usually mentioned as most popular of all eight members.
5. Tadayoshi Ohkura: Second to the youngest, a talented drummer and promising young actor.
6. Shota Yasuda : ‘Magic fingers’, the guitar is a part of his body. Known for his colourful fashion.
7. Ryuhei Maruyama: The boke as opposed to Shingo’s tsuukomi, a great bass player.
8. Hiroki Uchi: Youngest, a very pretty face. A rising star who has recovered from a drinking scandal.
All members agreed that this ought to have been stapled everywhere in Japan, from electric posts, bullet trains and portable toilets. Simply because this was the easiest way to remember each of the eight, each bulleted description had their pictures beside them.
Girls all over Japan would swoon all over Nishikido’s face as they rode the train to school.
(Ah! I wish Ryo-chan were my boyfriend! I don’t care even if his personality stinks!) One of the schoolgirls would say. Not to say that Nishikido had a terrible personality, but if he did— it wouldn’t have made much of a difference.
Ohkura was still hard. He looked at the tent his pajamas and erection made.
He tried not to remember it. What could’ve caused this Marquis De Sade like sexual montage? He never liked twins, lesbians, bisexuals or orgies. He thought of himself as the most ordinary person when it came to sex, he had no imagination, no peculiar kinks and no particular passion for sex. He liked sex but he was hardly crazy about it. To him, sex was just taking off each other’s clothes and after trying to think of making the other one feel good— you give up because your sex partner’s expectations are way too high. Ohkura hated foreplay, what good did it ever manage to bring? He wondered. All he thought about was putting his penis inside whomever it was he was having sex with and coming. Coming on her stomach, on her face—he wasn’t picky.
(Women take too much time to get heated up, and when they’re all excited, they expect too much. ) He thought. (I can’t imagine the trouble so many people go through just to have sex!)
Ohkura also thought about how normal looking he was as well. Nothing about his face struck him as special, he was pretty ordinary. He thought his face was as ordinary as his libido. He was tall and well built, and he was pretty big down there. The first girl he ever had sex with was practically terrified of his ‘way too large’ penis.
(Omigod Tada-kun! You can’t expect that’ll fit inside me, can you?! ) She exasperatingly asked him while giving him a rigorous hand job.
(I don’t care, it’s all right as long as I come.) He told her.
(Oooh, I was just kidding! You know it’ll fit, we’ll make it fit.) She said.
(Geez, all that talk for nothing.) He growled.
But all in all, Ohkura thought he was ordinary. That was the proper bottom line. Now, his ordinariness had been threatened by a sex nightmare and this made him disappointed because he felt that as an ordinary person, he had the right to live and die ordinary.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Yasuda had been practicing a song by B’Z on the guitar. He played the guitar while sitting in his hotel bed, just strumming aimlessly. His fingers stopped moving as Ohkura woke up and sat up from the other bed, sweating as though he’d just been drawn out from a hellish nightmare.
In the time duration of a full minute, the two just sat on their beds—staring at each other.
“Oh, what’s wrong Tadayoshi? Did I wake you up?” Yasuda asked as a point of common courtesy.
Ohkura shook his head.”Ah, no—I was just having a wet dream.” He said plainly. Wet dreams, morning erections and sensitive nipples—somehow their group had such a tight knit bond no one cared if someone talked about them so openly. They were like brothers, and it was hard to keep something from each other.
“Strange. At that age, you still have wet dreams?” Yasuda’s head tilted to the left, looking at Ohkura as though he had grown two more heads.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Ohkura blinked.
“I’m not sure. But I stopped having them when I turned 17.”
“What happened?”
“Oh I don’t know! Maybe it has something to do with being gay, how should I know?” Yasuda jested.
Of course Yasuda was openly gay, well not openly gay for the rest of Japan but within their eight person society, everyone had accepted Yasuda’s preference for other men. It never got in the way of their friendship.
One day Yasuda merely said: (Everyone, I may be gay. I know this seems like bad news but I hope you understand. I still want us all to be friends.)
And as though a curse had been lifted—their group was in better ease.
(Ah, so he was gay after all. Now I don’t feel like it’s just my imagination!) Shingo said. He felt as light as a feather.
In fact, it was easier for everyone to open up to Yasuda. Yoko asked Yasuda about what good sensitivity could bring into a relationship, and Ryo would ask when the right time would be to break up with a girl he thought was too clingy or selfish.
“So you think it’s because you’re gay?” Ohkura asked.
“I told you already...I wouldn’t know. Our body is full of mysteries. Let’s talk about that wet dream instead, why don’t we?”
“Honestly, I don’t think I should call it a wet dream—more like a sex nightmare.”
Sex Nightmare—the name would’ve perfectly fit a Visual Kei band. Here comes Sex Nightmare, in gothic makeup and a huge plastic dildo with an inverted cross. The things Ohkura’s mind came up with, such a surreal sense of humour he had for someone so ordinary.
“Sex nightmare? That’s a first.” Yasuda said, almost impressed.
“That’s what I thought too. I’m pretty confused. It’s not that I don’t like sex, I think it’s nice to hold a girl every once in a while. But I’m not too crazy about it.”
Yasuda put his guitar down, placed it under the bed and crossed his tanned arms across his chest. He looked awfully thoughtful, he radiated with a sort of sound maturity. “Have you had sex with anyone lately?”
“No. Not for a whole three months.”
“Must be frustration.” Yasuda nodded once, as if he were agreeing with his own theory. “Do you want to have sex?”
Ohkura shook his head. “My mind doesn’t want it, but probably my body says otherwise. Maybe I’ve got too much unreleased semen or something.”
“Do you want to have sex with someone, anyone?”
“No. Not anyone I can think of right now.”
“I see, I see.” Yasuda nodded some more. “My deduction would be that this frustration of yours has no particular direction towards one person.”
“You mean a pointless frustration?”
“I’d mean more along the lines of ‘primal’. Mankind’s been unable to evolve past primal desires.”
“You mean my body is screaming ‘mating time!’?”
“I think that’s the case.”
Ohkura thought of the words: ‘primal’ and ‘evolution’. Life was as scientific as it was mystical, he supposed. Why else would he have a sex nightmare? “Pointless and primal, they’re the same to me.” Ohkura stretched his arms up towards the ceiling. “You should be a psychologist or something Yasu, you seem to understand a lot about human nature.”
“No way. I just read into things more so than normal people do. If you want to talk about pointless, all you need to do is take a long good look at me.”
“Why’d you think that? You’re not so bad.” Ohkura sympathised with Yasuda. So what if Yasuda preferred other men? Ohkura thought that Yasuda was a very nice person, and if he ever had a lover— the guy had to be someone who’d truly appreciate that soul Yasuda had inside him. Nothing was pointless about that.
Yasuda sighed. “No one knows I’m gay. Just the seven of you know about me. I’ve got zero dating scope.”
“You’ll find one, eventually.” Ohkura tried to comfort Yasuda. “Who knows right? Someone’s bound to be interested in you.”
Yasuda laughed. “Oh, that’s just plain stupid.”
“Why not?!” Ohkura sounded rather frustrated. “You’re really smart, cute and you’ve got a great personality. What’s good about boobs and a vagina if you’ve got one stink personality?”
Yasuda looked as though he were in the brink of tears. “Awww stop, you’re gonna make me cry!” He smiled though, red faced and flattered.
“Ah, Geez—sorry.” He apologized.
Yasuda simply shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s hard when you’re gay. People have a hard time taking you seriously.”
“But I’m dead serious.”
“I know that. It’s just that I can’t cope well with compliments.”
Ohkura fell silent. It felt as if he hardly knew Yasuda, it felt like he hardly knew him at all. The emotional and psychological condition of mankind may have not evolved past the primal but it sure was still as complicated as it could be.
“I guess I ought to wank off my ‘primal urges’.” He jumped off the bed and was still hard, erection rearing its ugly head beneath cotton pajamas. He scratched the back of his head, fingers tangled with thick black hair.
Yasuda bowed once and Ohkura continued with his journey to the bathroom. Ohkura could feel the other man’s eyes on his back. He must’ve looked like an immature, sexually awkward young man compared Yasuda who dealt with life and sex with such graceful sensibility. Maybe one day, he’d be able to match up to that. Yasuda was only born a year before him, a lot of things could happen inside a year.
(Growth can take place in the time span of a millisecond or a millennium. ) He said inwardly.
“Tadayoshi—”
Yasuda called out to him. At first Ohkura assumed that this was a figment of his imagination.
“Tadayoshi!”
“H-Huh?” It was no figment of his imagination all right. The sound waves that bounced around the hotel room were real.
Yasuda spoke to him as though he had fallen into a trance encompassing the four cornered universe of their hotel room. “If you think you need help, I’ll help.”
“What?” What? Ohkura wonders if the sound waves were warped.
“Oh don’t mind me. I’m sorry.” Yasuda lowered his head. “I must be just some sad, confused homosexual man to you.”
Ohkura stared at Yasuda. Everyone may not be homosexual, but he was pretty sure everyone had times when they were sad or confused. And he, he was just as sad and confused as the rest of humanity.
“I don’t think that’d be a bad idea.” Ohkura said.
The balance scales fell into a low incline with one big swoop.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
“Is there a word for this?” Ohkura’s life jumped from a sex nightmare to an impromptu hand job courtesy of a good friend. He slipped under the soft covers of Yasuda’s bed, pulling down his pajamas. They quietly lay there for a while, a proverbial sense of peace washed over them for some mysterious reason.
“A word for what?”
“A word for mutual benefit, I can’t think of one.” Ohkura felt Yasuda’s hand gently cupping his balls and softly massaging them.
“Communal?” Yasuda blinked.
“I don’t like the sound of that.” Ohkura’s brows furrowed.
Yasuda laughed a hearty sort of laugh that made a pleasant sound.
“Hey, you’re pretty good at this.” He praised Yasuda out of the blue.
“You think? Great. That makes me happy.” Yasuda stroked Ohkura’s big penis then after, continuing the hand job with a smooth and steady rhythm. “It’s different when someone else does it for you, huh?”
“Hell yeah.” Ohkura replied, his tone revealed how much he was enjoying this.
“If you want to come, just come. You can come on Kleenex tissues when we’re done.”
Yasuda went on stroking Ohkura, and Ohkura went on enjoying it. One of Ohkura’s hand snaked up to play with one of Yasuda’s earlobes in between his rough fingers. Yasuda shot him a disapproving glare. He silently drew back his hand and let it sit still on his stomach.
“I’m sorry, don’t think I’m trying to take advantage of you.” He told Yasuda.
Once again a thick slab of concrete silence settled between them.
“Actually, it’s the other way around for me. I don’t want you think I’m taking advantage of you. I don’t want you to make me feel good. It’ll simply breed an unnecessary pleasure exchange. “Yasuda explained.
Ohkura’s brows shot up almost close to his hairline. “You just want me to dump all my semen on a Kleenex?”
Yasuda nuzzled his face on the crook of Ohkura’s neck and sighed, his hot breath washed all over the curve. “Don’t feel bad! I’m doing us a favor, you know?”
Ohkura restrained to make a comment, and merely shrugged. “I suppose so.”
“I’ll make you feel good so you can come faster too.”
“Have you ever done this with anyone else before?”
Yasuda rested his head on one propped up arm. “Yep. Only once.”
“Is it someone I know?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
Ohkura dropped the subject. This was nice though, this was the kind of ‘sex’ he wanted. He just wanted to come a lot like normal males do. There was sufficient talk, he felt like he could talk his heart out with Yasuda and dump his semen on mounds of Kleenex both at the same time. The feeling was ‘nice’.
He thought : (Ah, this is the kind of sex I want, communal…whatever that’s supposed to mean.) A strange feeling of connection is what he felt. All those times he had sex before this…he had no kind of deep emotional attachment whatsoever. Most of the time he just wanted to get through with it and doze off.
Ohkura wondered if he was gay.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Did he love Yasuda?
Maybe. Maybe not.
All those complexities resided in a completely different place at that time, sucked in by an invisible black hole. Sometimes Ohkura wished that invisible black hole would just suck in all the complexities of the world and leave human beings as content, perfect and empty little shells of flesh.
“Anyone ever tell you how big you are?” Yasuda asked him casually a tiny hint of surprise in his voice.
“Every girl I have sex with tells me that.”
“I can’t blame them. You’re huge, supernatural huge.” Yasuda made sure he made a fine deep emphasize on the word ‘huge’. “I mean, no way you’d fit in me just like that.”
“They told me that too. Think I’d ever make the Guinness?”
“Probably not. But hey, you’ve got a big pee-pee. If you get married, and your wife gets pregnant with a baby boy…he’d have a big pee-pee just like yours.”
“Sounds fantastic.”
Yasuda laughed again.
A few moments later, Ohkura came and all his semen went into a Kleenex. He then took a warm shower and went back to his own bed.
“Are you going to stay up?” Ohkura asked Yasuda as he toweled his hair.
“No, I’m just going to wash my hands. You came a lot and got some on my hands. You’re such a healthy male!” Yasuda applauded him.
“I eat a lot. Thou must eat a lot, in order to come a lot.”
For the third time, Yasuda laughs. “Why you can’t take your surreal sense of humor out there on stage? You’re really funny.”
“I can’t be myself on stage. Not now.”
Yasuda no longer asked why. “Oh well, those things take time. Everything in the world takes time, everyone needs it. Our bodies could evolve to a point we no longer need air or water, perhaps even food. But we’ll always need time.”
Ohkura was overcome by an innate sorrow, an indescribably strong sorrow that grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him to the bone. There was no good reason to feel sad, so all he could do was ignore that feeling and move on.
“Thanks for wanking off my sex nightmare.” He said.
“No problem. If you ever get one again, tell me. I’ll make you dump all your semen in Kleenex.”
Yasuda was such a likable person.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Ohkura fell into a deep sleep, no longer dreaming about twin lesbians or orgies. Instead, he dreamt of a red jumbo jet plane that zipped through the sky.
He was standing alone, on top of a hill and watching the plane fly. The wind was cool and crisp, blowing against him.
But suddenly, the jumbo jet plane stopped in the middle of the sky and stayed there for a very long time.
(What’s wrong with that plane?) He asked himself.
It was as if Ohkura was the only one moving through time and everything had succumbed into a suspension of time. He would move his mouth to say something but even the sound waves were stuck in this bizarre distortion of time.
He just stood there, waiting for time to propel forward.
It took forever.
Then the wind blew again and Ohkura could speak. One of the wings that the red jumbo jet plane had exploded into flames, the plane crashed, and all Ohkura could do was watch from a far distance.
On a nearby hill, a magnificent gigantic bonfire was born.
(That plane has taken a part of me with it and I’ll probably never get it back.)
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