I haven't written crack for a long time, so here you gais go. Warning for potentially offensive material. It's pretty PG-13 though. ;) As for the people curious what Lechon is, here's a wikipedia link for you. Comments are ridiculously ADORED. ♥


"So you're telling me, they just inserted a bamboo stalk through his anus and waited it to reach his mouth?"

"That's what they do around there. You insert it through his anus, and the other end comes out of his mouth. After that, we watch him roast under the fire."

"Not a nice way to die."

"And then you put an apple in his mouth."

"Oh man."

Yoko thinks there's a lot of things he needs to learn about Leah's culture, but he doesn't think talking about Lechon during dinner is a good idea.

"Don't look at me like that. You people eat raw fish."

Yoko decides to shut up.



* * *

"Why are you bringing Leah?" Subaru feels the need to say something. "As if bringing Uchi wasn't enough." He shoots Ryo a dirty, angry glare.

Yoko just stands there staring at Subaru having no idea what Subaru was getting at. "She's my girlfriend."

"She's gonna bust our brains out when she starts singing." Hina nonchalantly comments.

"Whatever happened to bros before hos man? Whatever happened to--brotherhood man." Subaru interjects.

Yoko ends up calling Leah and saying he'll be out late and that the karaoke plans were cancelled. There was much exuberant celebration.



* * *

One fine day, everyone in Kanjani 8 voted Yasuda as the universal girlfriend-slash-bestfriend. Voting was done within the vicinity of a posh karaoke bar in Tokyo.

Subaru and Yoko were very pleased with the results.

Voting was done during a drinking contest between Uchi and Hina. Uchi is claimed winner and Hina was required to do fifty pushups while singing WAHAHA.

Ryo and Uchi celebrate by making out in an obscure corner.

Ohkura was a little displeased with the results and quietly drank down his beer.

Somehow Ohkura's displeasure easily caught on with the rest of the members.

Yoko gives Ohkura a nasty look. "You're a little moody today, aren't you-- Ohkura?"

Ohkura doesn't reply and instead lights a cigarette stick with his pink playboy rabbit designed lighter. Yasuda, who had been sitting beside Ohkura the whole time was rather surprised. "Tadayoshi?" Yasuda calls out the younger man's name, but Ohkura keeps silent.

Subaru crosses his arms across his chest, promptly turning away from Hina who was still doing pushups. "Ignore him Yasu, he's just being a fag."

Ohkura's eyes turn dark. "What?"

"Bet you can't stand the fact that Yasu is everyone's girlfrieeeeeennnd." Subaru grins a manic grin. Yasuda blinks.

"Just because he's nice to you doesn't mean he's your girlfriend." Ohkura pouts, taking another long drag out of his cigarette stick. "It just means he's being nice. Yasu is generally nice."

"Oh come on, you can't hoard Yasu all to yourself!" Yoko cuts in. "He's everyone's girlfriend! He's everyone's girlfriend because he's so nice to everyone and goes out with everyone!"

"Yeah Ohkura! Just face the fact that you're no one special!" Subaru points at Ohkura's face. "Yasu treats you just like he treats everyone else in this room!"

Yasuda looks a little worried when Ohkura grinds his cigarette on the smooth surface of the marble ashtray and grits his teeth. "You take that back!"

"Omg my god you guys, the gay is killing me." Maru is wide-eyed and just stunned at how everyone was starting to act after a couple of drinks. "The amount of gay in this room is just killing me!"